My Life Matters
It’s my salvation Birth Day. It’s been twenty-six years that I’ve been carried and shaped by Jesus, the kindest, most honest, and enjoyable person ever.
At 17: I was stuck in stupidity, alone and sad. “I’m here”, He said.
At 20: I was stuck in my body, obeying what it willed. “Come to me”, He said.
At 23: I was stuck in depression, feeling the fight of dark and light. “Be filled”, He said.
At 43: Now, even though the future is foggy, I know he leads me gently like he always has. “Rest”, He says, “I’m making you brand new.”
Indeed, those who have him have life. Amen
As a way to celebrate, here are the words that have meant the most to me in the seasons listed above.
SEVENTEEN I really want to copy all of Psalm 40 for you, but I will restrain myself for the sake of time. Verses 1-4…
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD.
TWENTY: COLLEGE YEARS College was the first time I was really able to see what was really in my heart to do. Even though I changed my mind and decided to love God most of all at 17, I didn’t understand who Jesus was and why it mattered. I only really knew God the Father, obedience, and creation. In college, because so many guidelines weren’t there, my faith got personal when I saw what Jesus did and could do. I could have also used Isaiah 55 here, but Hosea made a lasting impact so that’s what I will offer you.
Hosea 2:14-15, 19-20
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.
And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.
I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.”
Twenty-Three: Struggles with depression following my wedding I didn’t know it at the time but there was a lot of trauma hidden in my body and when physical intimacy became a part of my life again it wrecked me. This season would repeat itself after the birth of my second child as PPD. Which led me to seek healing from teen sexual abuse and emotional neglect. Jeremiah grabbed my face and told me that it was possible for the Spirit to work out something new. Here is Jeremiah 18: 3-4
So I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was working at his wheel.
And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.
FORTY-THREE I know there is a 20 year gap here and there are a hundred and five things I will one day share with you. This present time has been one of a kind. At the end of Hebrews 10, the author says that we have already known loss and suffering and have accepted it then he says,
Therefore [since you know Jesus] do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
I wish I could give you a slice of the faithful goodness He has shown to me over the last 26 years and that I could have a slice of his faithfulness in your life. Perhaps this is why we share our stories. He has been good to me. I will continue to boast in weak and dark place because that’s where he most easily seen.
Thanks for reading all that. Remember, the Lord is your Keeper.