A More Nuanced Mother’s Day
I sat and listened to the pastor make a humorous acknowledgment that mothers are often under appreciated, overlooked, and disappointed. He expressed that God sees mothers and all the heart they put into keeping the family alive and happy. It hit me poorly. I was growing frustrated and angry at the chuckles from the crowd. I do believe that God sees mothers and is pleased with them. I don’t believe that’s enough. I think the families that create that dynamic can grow and be better.
The last two years have been the hardest two years of my parenting life. Even though the pastor’s intentions were good and pretty typical, it’s not funny anymore. I would like to suggest a more accurate and nuanced Mother’s Day next year. Include the following:
Acknowledge the needs, hopes, and wishes of the women who struggle to do it for themselves because they have been culturally conditioned to put everyone else first.
Apologize to her for not taking care of your own responsibilities and messes.
Let her know that you see her graciousness and desire to be a better human. Then do it.
Provide rest for her more than 2 days a year. Learn to cook, get familiar with the calendar, and make room for her to play, laugh, and read.
Mom’s are people too.
Respect, gratitude, and reciprocation are a part of every healthy relationship, including the parent-child. Being taken advantage of, ignored, and overworked are patterns to change, not sacrifices to praise.
Many of us are not being sanctified and made to look like Jesus. We are hurting, growing smaller in self-value, and crying in the other room.
I’m asking the women who dread mother’s day to dream about what they would like instead.
(I would like apology letters and chocolate.)
I’m asking their people to make it happen.
Do you enjoy Mother’s Day? What would you add to the list for next year?